giovedì 15 marzo 2012

White nights

Five nights together then suddenly, unexpectedly, the morning. Just five nights, but the life of the main character will never be the same after the experience of love. All my life I've been obsessed by Dostoevsy, the madman of Russian literature. Now, at 49, I clearly understand the reason. Just like him, I strongly believe that love - even five nights of love - can deeply change our lives. "Happiness is the longing for repetition" wrote Milan Kundera, that's why we cannot be happy. Our life is a straight line and repetition is clearly not possible. "With him, I know what I can expect", you told me. Since with him you weren't happy, yours was a very sad choice indeed. I love you Marija. With you I was happy. I didn't know what we could expect, but indeed I was happy and I had no fear of the future. You cannot imagine how much I miss you. All of a sudden I'm an old man, left alone by his wife, his family, his friends. An old man who has the nature of an accursed poet, a "poète maudit" that could be saved by your love. Please come back. You are my last chance to go back to normal life. After you, the incipit of my novel will be prophetic: "Finirò male, perchè sono un maudit" ("I will end badly, because I am accursed").

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